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The Borovkoff Blog

Neo-Pagan Modern Thoughts On Society

Category Archives: Etiquette

Image of a LionessYoutube is great for many things. You can learn how to cook your favorite recipes. You can learn how to file your taxes. You can learn almost any type of software. You can view reviews of all kinds of things. You can watch music videos. And more….

But it is also a place for ‘not so nice’ fads to get started. One such fad is called “Lion-Bating”.

Lion-Bating is the act of a family, group of teenagers, group of infantile adults, or any other group up to know good, that visits the zoo with the sole intention of harassing the lions in their cages, and capturing the lions frustration on video, only to post it on Youtube. Can you say STUPID?!

The newest, most talked about video representing this pointless and brainless act was highlighted on Good Morning America today. The scene, if you can imagine, a husband and wife place their toddler in front of a glass enclosed lion cage. Then they watch as the lioness tries to get at the toddler through the glass to the great amusement of the parents who are filming the whole thing. This is probably the most pathetic waste of humanity I have ever seen in my life. These are PARENTS? These parents think this is FUNNY? The zoo does nothing to stop this ridiculous irritation of a captive animal for the amusement of a bunch of thick headed cowards? Its plain gross.

I have a better, much more entertaining solution, and well worth a good Youtube video. I guarantee a massive flow of viewers to the finished video too. Imagine this scenario instead: Lets take those pathetic parents and stick them inside the lion cage and then video tape what happens. Kind of like Roman entertainment. Doubtful that the lions would be able to keep that gorge down, since it appears to be composed mostly of deification!

And to Good Morning America, you should be ashamed of yourselves for even parading these idiots on T.V. like they actually are valuable citizens or even worthwhile beings on the planet.

 

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Image of party hats.There is a fine line between being fashionably late and being completely rude. Few people know the difference or how to tread that difference safely. And in some cases, there is no call for being fashionably late at all. So to help people see the difference, just in case your mom never told you, here is a breakdown of occasions for either:

  • Private Party – Yes, you can be fashionably late. No more than 30 minutes though. If you have been assigned to bring appetizers though, then NO, you cannot be fashionably late, and actually should appear on time otherwise you are now RUDE.
  • Corporate Party – Absolutely yes. You should be fashionably late. Again, no more than 30 minutes is safe, especially if your boss expects you to be there or if you are a guest speaker.
  • Wedding – Yes, you can be fashionably late. And its best to probably come a little tipsy since everyone knows weddings are a huge bore anyway.
  • Child’s Birthday – Yes, you can be fashionably late. You have a window of an hour. You should NOT come tipsy. You don’t have to stay for the whole thing, and if the parents start showing a slide show composition of photos of the birthday brat, then its totally ok to slip out the back door when nobody is looking.
  • Dinner with Friends – Yes, its ok to be late for out on the town events with friends, but again, no more than thirty minutes. Unless you are their only friend. Then you better be right on time.
  • Job Interview – Don’t be late at all. There is no such thing as fashionably late for an interview. Its just stupid.
  • Date – Don’t be late at all. Again, there is no such thing as fashionably late here either. This is just plain rude and marks the sign of a self-centered person who only wants someone to pay attention to them for the rest of their life. NEXT!
  • Funeral – DO NOT BE LATE! Family and friends depend on you. The words “fashion” and “funeral” should not be concerned with each other. And please do not be late for your own funeral. I have a few friends who plan on pulling this late timing off, and I am sure based on their history, that they will be successful.
  • Sporting Events – Yes, you can be fashionably late. Unless you are one of the players. Then you risk losing before you even start.
  • Doctors Appointments – Come right on time. The doctor WILL be late, but you are not allowed. IF you are late to this appointment expect to get another appointment scheduled three months later by a rude nurse.
  • Dentist Appointments – Yes, you can be late. They charge astronomical fees for little time spent in the chair anyway. You can get away with it because they are only going to charge your insurance for it in the end.
  • Meeting up with friends at a bar – YES, you SHOULD be late. By at least an hour. They will be drunk by the time you get there anyway, so they won’t care.

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Image of pajama pants.There are few things quite as comfortable as wearing a nice, soft, warm pair of pajama pants around the house. On cold, wintery, rainy nights those festively colored pants can make the dark of winter seem somehow cheery with a hope of spring. Especially the fleece ones. Those are like wearing heaven on your cold legs. Snuggle on the sofa with a cup of hot cocoa in your hands, while watching a scary movie while it pours down raining outside, and its just about as close to bliss as a human can get.

But lately, more and more, you see people wearing their soft pajama pants out and about town. They wear them to the post office, supermarket, Home Depot, Target, town mall, and even…. yes even….Walmart. Well, ok, maybe we wouldn’t blink if you wore them to Walmart. Half the people at Walmart are busy buying cat food for their own consumption, so they probably won’t even notice you in pajama pants.

People are sauntering around town in a nice shirt and their pajama pants, looking all so dimple pinching cute right? WRONG! HELLO! Snap out of your delusion. Pajama pants are for your own use AT HOME, where nobody else has to look at you! But you are actually inflicting pain on us by parading yourself around in public in pajama pants. You are inflicting humiliation for being human and having anything to do with you at all, even shopping at the same store. Well maybe not Walmart, because Walmart shoppers are already the bottom of the barrel, so pajama pants are considered dress-up clothes there.

Seriously, do you really think that you are that cute that you can get away with wearing pajama pants out and about? Did your mom tell you that you were super cute in those cotton pants? Did she tell you that they are slimming to your rear? Or did she raise you up right and tell you that it was NOT OK to wear your underwear outside of the house?

If your mom didn’t raise you up right and teach you the rules of public decency, let me express some important ones for you here. Grab that piece of paper, pretend you know how to write, and jot down some finer points:

We don’t wear our underwear outside of the house. Even the backyard is pushing it, except if you live in a very rural place where the nearest neighbor is like a mile away.

We don’t wear our curlers in our hair out and about. Except for if they are holding your head attached to your neck with an invisible wire or something.

We don’t walk around supermarkets talking on cell phones and swearing into them while talking loudly about all kinds of personal information. Unless of course, we are trying to be considered unstable.

We don’t yell at our children across the heads of innocent bystanders in a public place. We didn’t have the kids, don’t blame us!

We don’t slurp our food, burp loudly at fine dining establishments, fart loudly in public places, french kiss our other half in public places, pick our nose while driving our car (there are other people around you, HELLO!), use really foul language around other people, especially if they have under age children with them, bring our children into a bar (uh, NO!), wear low cut jeans so tight that everyone can see your muffin top (does that come with frosting?), do your makeup in front of store windows, ask for donations outside of an ATM, pick our underwear out of its wedged position while walking anywhere in public, or wear pants so baggy that the whole world can see what color underwear we are wearing, clearly (unless your plans are to be the pass around party favor in prison).

Heed these words of advice. The world will be a better place for both you and I if you do!

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