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The Borovkoff Blog

Neo-Pagan Modern Thoughts On Society

In these modern days of fast moving relationships, online dating, and mega children making, does it still hold true: Once a Cheater always a Cheater?


In these modern days of fast moving relationships, online dating, and mega children making, does it still hold true: Once a Cheater always a Cheater?

In the old days of long lasting monogomy and marriage until death, a cheater could be spotted a mile away and the whole village might gather for a Friday night party and stoning to death special event. There was not a lot of discussion about “why” the person strayed from the relationship and there were no long drawn out therapist interventions trying to get to the root of the problem. There were simple reprecussions for your actions. Justice pulled from the rules of an eye for an eye.

Nowadays though, things are very different. There is rarely a Hollywood marriage that can manage 10 years without one of them cheating on the other and then fleeing like a dirty rat fink from the relationship. Politicians are caught right and left with their pants down and a look of disbelief on their face when they realize that their actions do not fall under the jurisdiction of “community service”. All you have to do is turn on your television and watch for an hour or so and you will see cheaters and their trampled victims paraded on the screen for everyone to gawk and wonder what went wrong with “their” relationship.

And even after the smoke clears and everyone has appeared on Jerry Springer, Oprah or Larry King, the cheating culprit is usually taken back and forgiven or tossed to the curb only to be picked up by some runway model hoping to change his evil ways with her endless good looks and deep pockets.

The question really is, can a cheater reform themselves? Can they change their way and find a new life and new beginning in the endless way of life known as commitment? Do all relationships end up broken or with a pact of openess that goes beyond the normal definition of “open”.  Are all of our modern day relationships doomed to end up in divorce or with that very special “understanding” often begged by one partner, agreed by the other but never really a balanced act?

No, cheaters and leopards cannot change their spots. The spots may look different in different lighting conditions, and sometimes the spots seem to fade away for periods of several years, but in the end the carnivore will show once again and leave broken families, hobbled children and wounded spouses in their bloody path. For the cheat once means that deep down inside your very soul, you have no ethics. You have no scale of right and wrong. You only have a deep seated personal investment in your own greed and personal gain. You are all about you and don’t care who you hurt to get what you desire. Perhaps cheaters are sexual addicts in the dirty sense of the disease. Maybe they don’t have the personal shut off valve that most people learn by age 12. Or maybe cheaters are a result of our newly found obsessive hunger for self indulgence?

Never the less, take heed, that sweet man you meet in the bar, (you know – the same one who is “getting over” his crazy wife’s evil manipulations) and the one that promises that YOU ARE THE ONE has cheated before, and he will cheat after too. Its what he does. Its what he is. He doesn’t know any better. His ON button is stuck in that position and  BP is probably his customer service representative responsible for repairs.

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