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The Borovkoff Blog

Neo-Pagan Modern Thoughts On Society

So, being the pizza lover that I am, I headed over to Zelda’s to check it out and see if Zelda is wearing flip-flops, bandana and dirty sweat pants like the rest of her Midtown female peers.

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On moving to Midtown Sacramento, I was told by the general populace “You MUST go to Zelda’s! They have the best pizza”. Now that would be fine for most, but pizza is one of my top ten loves. I could live on pizza everyday for dinner and never get bored. Coming from the Bay Area, I know good pizza and can identify it from a mile away.

So, being the pizza lover that I am, I headed over to Zelda’s to check it out and see if Zelda is wearing flip-flops, bandana and dirty sweat pants like the rest of her Midtown female peers.

I always look for red flags. And Zelda’s has more red flags than red sauce. First of all, they don’t accept personal checks or credit cards. I can understand the personal checks issue, I mean COME ON! Look around Midtown! Do these people have checking accounts at all? So that out of of the way, not accepting credit cards? What is up with that? Do you want business or what? Is it the $1.50 charge you can’t handle Zelda? Let’s snap out of it, get a credit card machine and step into the year 2009! Geez!

So, we plunked our cash down and placed our order with one of several UNFRIENDLY employees. Maybe Zelda beats her employees? They all looked so unhappy the entire time. Bad karma Zelda!

Our pizza came, on the plus side fairly quickly too.

Now as far as pizza goes, Zelda’s is at the bottom of the barrel of red sauce. It is …….not good. How about terrible? If I wanted a mouth full of Bisquick I could stay home and eat it out of the box. When we asked for sausage we should have said “more than one piece please”. This was the cheapest, crummiest, dryest, pile of dough I had ever eaten. Downright GROSS and a waste of money and good humor!

Overall, I think Zelda’s should be closed and replaced with a nice little coffee shop. Zelda needs to give up her pizza recipe and just make Bisquick biscuits for the Boy Scouts of America or some other aweful right wing, brain washing group.

And if you would like a good laugh, go look at their pathetic website at http://www.zeldasgourmetpizza.com/aboutus.html
Where Zelda’s main pullquote is “Yes, we have attitudes. Yours determines ours. SMILE.”  Ummm Zelda, you need to climb back in you white trash Oldsmobile, pull your curlers out of your ratty hair, drive back to your cave and read a good book on successful business models based on customer service. Overall score: Too PATHETIC for any kind of rating!

 

 

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